How To

How to Get Ready for Your OkCupid Date by Ali Barthwell

  1. Fake an illness so you can leave work early to get ready
  2. Check OkCupid in case you want a Back-up Date
  3. Turn on the shower as well as your “Queen Bee” Beyonce-themed Spotify playlist for feminine inspiration
  4. Stand in the running water for one minute holding your razor pondering whether or not to shave your legs
  5. Decide against shaving because it means you’re more likely to try to have sex with Your Date to take advantage of leg smoothness. Also because having sex on the first date is slutty
  6. Get angry as a feminist for thinking that wanting to have sex on the first date is slutty
  7. Shave your left leg
  8. Cut yourself shaving
  9. Resign yourself to wearing pants on this date Continue reading