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Vietnam Veteran with PTSD Yelps Applebee’s by Andy Kushnir

I have been a loyal patron of the Applebee’s franchise since its’ inception back in 1980. My wife and I make the trip to Decatur, Georgia each year to the birthplace of the first bees in order to pay our respects. Now while we weren’t starving, we were looking for a little nosh. We hadn’t been to this particular location in Brooklyn’s Coney Island neighborhood, but I figured we were safe under the comforting umbrella that is the Applebee’s pursuit of deliciousness.

In my years of patronage I pretty much know the routine at Applebee’s, the décor is fun and family friendly, the wait-staff is energetic and young, and while that 2 for $20 deal might be light on your wallet, it sure is heavy on the ol’ breadbasket! Continue reading

Fozzie Bear has on Stage Meltdown © 2006 Buzzington Post

The following article is being reposted from the now defunct BuzzingtonPost © 2006.  The article originally appeared on November 6th, 2006.  We’ve reprinted it here as a reference point and addendum to the recent interview Fozzie Bear had with us, regarding a different comedy controversy.   You can read that interview HERE.

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Warning: The following article contains an ageist epithet and language of hate. Although censored for the majority of the article, we felt it necessary to include the initial said epithet for accuracy’s sake.

LOS ANGELES – Fozzie Bear exploded in anger as he performed at famous L.A. comedy club “The Comedy Store” Friday (10/27), hurling ageist epithets in a tirade that left the crowd gasping in shock, instead of laughter.  Although it is only a matter of time before we obtain the video, we as of yet do not have video confirmation of the incident.

Fozzie Bear played the wacky character “Fozzie the Bear” for six years on The Muppet Show and in countless films afterwards, appeared onstage at The Comedy Store in West Hollywood. Reportedly, he started being heckled by a pair of older white gentlemen from some of the cheaper seats up in the rafters.  Fozzie ignored their initial attacks until he was baited with what turned out to be a false compliment.  The hecklers laughed and one of them said loudly for all to hear that “Hey that wasn’t half bad.”

For the first time in the evening, Fozzie looked towards his attackers, offering up a feeble “thanks guys, I knew you’d come around.”  If only he knew the punchline to come, possibly this whole mess could have been avoided.

“Actually,” said the other gentleman, “it was ALL bad!”

Continue reading

Sasquatch Spotted in Old Town Chicago

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CHICAGO, IL — Staff photographer Samuel Priest was on hand earlier today in the Old Town neighborhood of Chicago, IL to catch a glimpse of what locals are calling an “Urban Sasquatch” and perhaps the first photographic evidence.

There’s been some controversy regarding the name, with some citing racist undertones in regards to the modern usage of the word ‘urban’ deeming it ‘inappropriate’ and ‘unacceptable.’  This seems to be the first photographic proof, and if one local’s opinion that the Sasquatch is indeed “hailing a cab,” this will provide some credence to adding the “Urban” nomenclature to the creature’s name.  Another local, however, disagreed saying, “he looked like he was waving to someone he thought he recognized across the street, but then realized that he didn’t know the person, so he turned it into a slight stretch, so he’s not embarrassed, but he was too late and I saw the whole thing!”

Local Area Chubby Boy Claims T-Shirt Is New Bathing Suit by Andy Kushnir

chubbyPARK RIDGE, IL — Poised to take the summer by storm, 12-year-old Jared Lasser told Park Ridge Aquatic Club pool officials Monday that he was excited to show off his brand new bathing suit that will cover the entirety of his gelatinous belly and arms. “It’s pretty cool and fits me perfectly– they’re all the rage over in Europe.” Lasser said of his white Big Dog t-shirt that shows his puffy nipples after it gets wet. “It’s actually way easier to swim in! Not like those lame swimsuits that only cover your legs. What I’m doing is cool.” When reached for comment, the 7th grade baseball team said they fully intend to pull up his shirt and twist his nipples from a light pink to a deep purple. At press time, Lasser could be found getting his ass handed to him in a chicken fight.