Domino’s Pizza Delivery – Medium Pepperoni & Bacon Hand Tossed Pizza w/Breadsticks.
On a surprisingly hot, but quite pleasant early autumn afternoon, I decided to treat myself to some pizza for lunch. It was Friday after all, the end of a hectic work week. And by work, I basically mean, sitting in trees and occasionally flying around sporadically. I wanted something cheap and easy, but still delicious, like a field mouse but NOT a field mouse if you get what I’m saying. I’m an owl. I remember seeing some commercials for a company telling me that their pizza wasn’t very good, but they were working on it and that apparently they were putting a guarantee on the box that the pizza was now good, especially compared to how it used to be. Well, what’s good for the goose (my friend Sperel, who is a goose, and likes Domino’s) is good for the Gander (my friend Steve Gander, who is also a goose), so I decided that Domino’s it would be.
Finding a coupon online, I ordered 2 medium 2 topping pizzas, some would take this opportunity to try two different types of pizza, but I’m a fan of stocking up. So I ordered a pepperoni & bacon and a pepperoni & bacon. And some breadsticks. If you haven’t ordered online from Domino’s in a while, you’re in for a treat. Not only is the process quick and easy, but after placing your order, you’ll be taken to a screen that updates you in the pizza making process and informs you exactly what state your almost delivered pizza is in, whether that’s in the “making stage” or the “baking stage” or… “on it’s way.” This is an example of technology done right. Some would say it’s an unnecessary convenience. But, I’m often amused by bright lights being flashed on me in the middle of the evening, because I’m an owl. So, I enjoyed it.
A Semi-Fracas at Frasca’s
by Samson Owlson
After being initially being turned away at the door for what I suspect was too “owl-like of an appearance”, I was only able to gain entry into this fine Roscoe Village “Pizza + Wine Bar” eatery after returning in a trench coat, straw fedora, and what I can only describe as a “comically over-sized mustache.” Needless to say, these lengths are not always convenient to attain. Although, my experience will quite possibly not resemble your own, as I’m an owl, I would insist you not visit Frasca’s unless you have enough time to make at least one if not two costume changes to ensure your entrance into the restaurant.
I wish I could say that was the end of my troubles. Unfortunately, after finally being seated, the waitstaff repeatedly kept asking if I was an owl in a trench coat. And although their level of suspicion was warranted, me actually being an owl in a trench coat and all, their constant questioning and the passive aggressive way “there are no field mice on the menu” was mentioned seemed irritatingly non-confrontational and unprofessional. This behavior continued throughout the meal, tainting what otherwise was a fantastic dining experience.
I’m just a simple barn owl. I like mice and small birds. I didn’t go to a private owl college. After a busy weekend of flying, swooping and doing that thing where I pace back and forth on a branch, bobbing my head up and down, my bones were tired. I decided I needed some rest and relaxation. I could think of no better place than the hot tub at my local gym, the X-Sport Fitness Center at North Avenue and Wells Street in Chicago, IL 60614.
The first thing I noticed upon trying to enter my local fitness center was simply that I was trying to enter my local gym instead of just entering it. There is no “owl entrance.” Obviously, we’re not expecting our own separate door or anything, but something a little more owl-accommodating would be nice, as the doors are thick and heavy. If we have to be lumped in with other medium sized birds and/or small mammals, so be it. It generally is not convenient to wait for someone to pull or push them open as I wait to either scurry or quickly fly in. But that’s what I have to do; I’m an owl.